Hello, and welcome to my blog. My name is Lucas (I would tell you my last name, which is Laske, but I'm pretty sure my friends have a Google Alert on my name and they can NOT find this). You may have heard of me because I am a Z List Harry Potter fandom celebrity. I'm not as famous as Andrew Sims, but who is? I'll never be as handsome or cool as he is, but oh well. Maybe someday I'll be cool or handsome enough to be his boyfriend! He's the only man I want.
This brings me to another thing. He's the only man I want because I don't want other men. I want unicorns. Oh, how I love unicorns and their shiny white horns and their glistening manes. But my friends make fun of me for it. Ever since they found out, they've been making fun of me for it. I'm forced to live the lie of liking girls. Yuck, girls. Well, girl unicorns are okay. I'm not picky about my unicorns as long as they have a great big throbbing horn. I have to face the facts: I've been unicorn'd.
Good thing my Google Alert didn't pick this up.
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