I Get By With a Little Help From my Friends

Hey guys. Long time no blog. I've been a busy bee these past few months. I went to go visit my beautiful good friend Marian in LA. Sadly, my love, Andrew, was nowhere to be found. I was bummed, but I figured maybe we just needed some distance. A wise man once said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I know my heart sure is fond, so Andrew's must be too, right?

In December, I saw my best friend in the whole world, Shannon Daly. She's seriously the coolest. I don't know where I'd be without her. She was in town to see the Addams Family. Wesley Taylor is in it and I think he's black because I'm just a silly goose! But it was super fun and ended up with me giving my BFF a nice awkward hug.

My friend Patrick made a really awesome book about me. It's not as awesome as Andrew Sims, but whatever. Here it is if you'd like to take a gander.

I'm really grateful to have such amazing friends. Really, they are the best friends a boy could have. If they lived in Chicago, I would invite them to tea parties every afternoon, but sadly that cannot be reality. Maybe we can have a nice tea party at Infinitus. I would simply love that.

Los Angeles

So next Thursday I'm going to be going to Los Angeles with my dad and twin sister. Not the annoying one. I told all of my friends that it was because I wanted to see Marian, Emily and Patrick, but I don't really. I mean it would be cool to see them too but that's not the main reason. Actually the whole reason I wanted to go was to see my first true love, Andrew Sims.

I haven't seen him since Azkatraz, and that's almost a whole four months ago. When I deleted my whole chicken harem on farmville I was left heartbroken and so I finally made up my mind. I had to go to LA to see Andrew Sims. Without him, my chickens, or the unicorns, I am nothing.

Of course I will still hang out with Marian, Emily and Patrick, but for the first two days when I won't be seeing them I'll be heading out to Fullerton to find the MuggleCasters. I told Andrew Sims secretly through twitter, and he gave his secret way of replying, "I'll be put of town, in that case."

To others that might seem like a typo for 'out', but really it's his way of saying put out.

I can't wait until next weekend, it's going to be great.

Chickens

I hate to say this, really I do.  But, I think I'm over unicorns.  I realize that that's weird and creepy, and while I guess I'll still take a few horns up the nose every once in a while, they're not exactly my first choice.  I have a new love in this world.  I didn't realize until recently how much I like chickens.

They're just so white (because I hate black things...they're just not at all attractive) and feathery and UNF.  I just bought a chicken harem for myself on Farmville last night.  Last night was the most beautiful night of my life.  And now that I've uncovered my true desires, I can love my chickens like that every night for the rest of my life.

Holes

Do you guys realize how many holes we have? Besides your anal hole, which is always fun, there's still your nasals, ocular, and ear holes. You know what that means.

I've just been thinking about the first time I actually used my nasal holes, if you get what I'm saying. In exchange for tickets to see Jo Rowling, Andrew Sims had to give me something, you know. My nose holes are pretty small, but holes can be expanded. At first it hurt a lot, but then it was just awesome. The smell mixed with the feeling was pretty cool. It smelt like magic, like a Harry Potter book when you open it for the first time.

I can't wait to try ocular.

Welcome

Hello, and welcome to my blog.  My name is Lucas (I would tell you my last name, which is Laske, but I'm pretty sure my friends have a Google Alert on my name and they can NOT find this).  You may have heard of me because I am a Z List Harry Potter fandom celebrity.  I'm not as famous as Andrew Sims, but who is?  I'll never be as handsome or cool as he is, but oh well.  Maybe someday I'll be cool or handsome enough to be his boyfriend!  He's the only man I want.

This brings me to another thing.  He's the only man I want because I don't want other men.  I want unicorns.  Oh, how I love unicorns and their shiny white horns and their glistening manes.  But my friends make fun of me for it.  Ever since they found out, they've been making fun of me for it.  I'm forced to live the lie of liking girls.  Yuck, girls.  Well, girl unicorns are okay.  I'm not picky about my unicorns as long as they have a great big throbbing horn.  I have to face the facts: I've been unicorn'd.